Who let the dogs out?! Who let the hamsters out?! Who let the turtles out?! This pet shop is my only source of income, you bastard don’t just sit there, call the damn cops!
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE
how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.
no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn